yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
