she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There r osticjed everywhere
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
