I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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