Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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