OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
