He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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