3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We left an ass print on the piano.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
