time to smoke my breakfast
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
