I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
