At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
