do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
