It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
