school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
