it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
