I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
