my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize