onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Come on in and take your pants off
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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