her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
