god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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