If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
