so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Randomize
