I will die if light touches me.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she looked like the before picture.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize