Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize