but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize