I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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