I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
