Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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