Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
