idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
