God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
