is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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