Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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