how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
