i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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