I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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