He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
