You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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