can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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