Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
