He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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