guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I looked at my own cervix.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize