Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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