I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This is my gift to your gina
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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