If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
