Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
