Christians are straight up FREAKS
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
