i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
