Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
