I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
These tits shall not be calmed
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