Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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