There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
