So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
