i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
