I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
