Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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