I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
