i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
