At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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