i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
