Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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